Reverence, is that possible?

Have you ever been in a situation that your ADHD kiddo is expected to be quiet, stay still and peaceful?

I’m sure we’ve all been in that situation. Whether it be at a doctors office, a funeral, church, a school performance, a play, family functions, military functions, other types of appts, etc. It is something that can’t be avoided, so how the heck do we get them to cooperate?! 

For the longest time I avoided those types situations. It was too overwhelming to try and control my kids in a circumstance that forced them to be controlled. I still do avoid them, depending on how I am feeling or what the circumstance/situation is. But I’ve also taught my kids certain words that mean it’s time to be quiet, still and peaceful. I’ve also taught them things to do to quietly to keep their minds going without making much, if any, noise. 

It started when they were about 18 months old. I’d teach them the word reverence/reverent. It’s a big word that is used commonly at our church, so it could be a familiar word that was also universal for me. Then once they hit kindergarten I start making them be responsible for their own bag to fill with things to help keep them quiet. I’ve taught them from a young age that seek and find books (and where’s Waldo, I spy), coloring books, fidgets (we have many), reading books and “quiet” toys can be put in the bag. I stay away from anything that could possibly make too much noise and electronics. Up until kindergarten I have supplied all of these things in “mommy’s bag” and they have to ask for permission to use anything in the bag. I still have this bag for spur of the moment times, but I feel teaching responsibility at a young age is SUPER important. 

All of this has paid off for me, too. Now that my kids are 10, 8, 7 and 5, I am able to sit through our church service and not have to really worry about my kids being irreverent. I don’t have to get on them much about being reverent and I know that they know what is expected of them when I say, it’s time to be reverent. Now, none of this would’ve happened without incredibly hard work and consistency on my part. But being consistent and doing what I didn’t want to do when it needed to be done has made this possible. And it can for you too. 

Parenthood is hard. If it’s not hard, you’re probably not doing as good of a job as you could be doing. Like my mom always told me, I’m not here to be tour best friend, I’m here to be your mom. But by her establishing that boundary, she is one of my greatest friends. This can happen with you and your kid(s), too, if you put in the hard work and determination it takes to raise good kids. 

If you want to know what I use for my kids, I’d be happy to share with you. But, you have to remember each child, their individual needs and likes/dislikes are totally different. And you’ll only find out by trying things, communicating with them about those things and by asking if they feel it’s helping them.