How life is Now, 5 1/2 Years Later.

As many of you know, I have four kids with ADHD.  Two of them have severe ADHD, so severe it is considered a disability for them because it impacts their daily life so much.  This is the main reason I have been so absent on this blog.  Life stopped, for me, worrying about how to move forward as a widow and focused more on how to help my kids be the best version of themselves they could be.  So moving forward, I will be writing more about how life has changed dramatically for us, living and learning with ADHD.  But, I still feel it is part of my adventure as a widowed AMMO wife.  Being an AMMO wife is where my foundation started and is what has given me a lot of the strength to keep on keeping on.  So, without further adieu, here is my first post about how life has changed for us as a family full of ADHD. . .

Tonight I am going to talk about our journey into diagnosis and why medication became my saving grace.

It all started when my oldest was in the womb.  She was incredibly active from the time I could feel her moving inside my belly.  So active that I would loose a lot of sleep because of the fast and constant movements.  Once she was born, she never stopped.  Nothing would console her as a baby, not longer than 2 seconds anyway.  As she continued to grow I continued to notice that something was not quite right.  I felt she had WAY too much energy for a child of that age.  But doctors assured me I was a first time mom and just didn't know what to expect.  Which I partially took offense to.  I mean no one knows their child better than their mom.  But, whatever.  So we continued being the best parents we could and found out baby number two was rapidly coming, whether we were ready or not.  He came super fast and kind of early.  Being a preemie, he had lots of health issues.  He also had a lot of other issues that raised many red flags for me, but once again I was told that he was my first boy and boys are different than girls, so not to worry.  Fast forward 18 months and baby number three arrived and I was drowning as a mom.  My two and a half year old had the energy of a million energizer bunnies and my 1 1/2 year old had just a bit more energy.  I fought with doctor after doctor to get help for them because my mommy instincts were telling me that something was different, something was not right and they needed help.  But just as the previous doctors had told me, I was basically crazy.  Time continued on, we found out baby number four was coming and I was fit to be tied.  What was I doing to myself?  How could I possibly be mom to four kids, three of which I knew for sure had something going on.  Seven months pregnant with baby number four and my husband died.  Now what was I to do?!  Well, becoming a civilian real fast was probably the best thing that ever happened to me for my kids.  We were not dealing with military doctors anymore.  I finally was able to catch a break and get a doctor to listen to me about my kids.

My son was the first to be diagnosed.  He was diagnosed with an alphabet of disorders.  GAD, SPD, ASD, ADHD-C.  Oh. My. Word.  But I FINALLY had answers to all of his issues.  I had a direction to go and a light at the end of the tunnel!  At first, I was totally against medication for him as well.  I wanted to try natural remedies and therapy to help him.  But then he started preschool.  Things were now expected of him that hadn't been expected before.  The teacher could not control him and it almost was a disaster, until I changed my mind about medication.  Which was the best decision I ever made.  He was five at the time and his life changed for the better, too.  It has been a huge trial and error process with medication for him and now that he is almost nine, we have a combination of medications that work.  He is a successful member of society and school and no one can even tell that he has ADHD-C, ASD, GAD or SPD.  Miracle.

He helped pave the way for his older sister.  Now that I had my toughest kid under control, I could start to focus on the rest.  My oldest was right behind him in getting diagnosis and being put on medication.  She was diagnosed with ADHD-C and GAD at 6 and started meds immediately.  She is 10 now and we are still working on finding the right combination of medications for her.  But, what many don't understand, is that medicating for ADHD is a work in progress.  All. The. Time.  Especially for girls because they have hormonal changes that affect the way the medication works for them.  Finding the right psychiatrist and not getting discouraged is the best way to tackle medicating for ADHD.  As well as having the patience of a saint, or two, or three.

A few things to keep in mind while getting diagnosis and trying out medications:

• Don't get discouraged, you and your child are doing the best with what you have
• They are just as uncomfortable, or more uncomfortable, as you are trying to parent/live with ADHD 
• Trial and error will become your best friend and you will have more successful trials and errors as time goes on
• YOU GOT THIS!!!  
• You are not going to figure it all out at once, and that's ok.  Slow and steady wins the race :)

I hope this is able to help someone out there!  And feel free to comment with any questions, send me a personal message or email!  I want to help as best as I can so others don't have to feel alone in life as parents to kids with ADHD!