Sorry its been so damn long! We went through quite a lot since my last post and I was without Internet for a while because of technical difficulties! But, I'm back :)
So one of the things that we went through was an entire kitchen remodel. Which had me doing a lot of thinking, transitioning, balancing and repeating. As my kitchen was under construction, we were still trying to use it. So as certain parts of it would be under construction, I would have to think, transition some parts to other parts and then let that balance out for a day or so until the next area needed worked on. So it got me thinking. How much thinking, transitioning and balancing have I done since my life has changed?
The day that Dustin died my life as I knew it ended. I didn't really have much time to think about it back then. I was pregnant, I had kids starting school, I had normal life transitions coming. So I thought accordingly, transitioned us and did my best to balance all of that out. Over the past almost two years now I have learned just how and when these transitioning steps are necessary in my life and I have learned in what areas they are necessary as well.
People, places, things, traditions, activities, daily life, future plans.
All of these areas, as well as more I'm sure, have been strategically thought about, slowly transitioned from and balanced out. I have repeated this process many times with many different categories as well. It is something that I haven't enjoyed doing because I am essentially transitioning the life I had with Dustin into my past. But that's what it is. My past and I am proud of it. It is what has given me the strength to move on because it gives me hope for the future to be with him again.
The transition from our life together is imperative to make a life for myself.
I can't keep certain things alive from our life because it just doesn't work with my life now. I can't make dinner alone anymore while the kids are excitedly playing with him. I can't be doing dishes and picking up while they are all taking baths because he's not here anymore to help tag team the work load. I can't celebrate holidays as we would have because he's not here to celebrate with. I can't easily go run errands after he is home and the kids are in bed. I can't easily take all of them on short day trips like we used to do for family time. There are so many other things I can't do because he isn't here anymore to be by my side.
But I'm not letting that stop this transition because, like I've said, it is imperative.
I am currently learning to balance this transition right now. I am learning what works within my daily routine and what doesn't. I am learning what works for us to spend family time and what doesn't. I am learning how to run those errands around schedules and help from others. I am learning how to celebrate holidays as a single parent family. I am doing all of this while also reminding our kids about who their daddy was and what he loved and why. Now, I'm still not perfect with this and I am still working out the kinks. But I will always be working out the kinks because I will be moving into new ages and stages of life continuously. That's what life is about. No matter who you are or where you are in life. Learning how to think, transition, balance and repeat.
So I am going to challenge all of you to really think about where you are in life. Make the necessary transitions, try your best to balance those transitions and repeat when necessary!
